Numbers, Numbers

The world is full of numbers, but did you ever realize just how many numbers are assigned to you?

I was heading to Barnes & Noble today, a distant cousin location of my previous bankroll, and found myself easily remembering my old employee ID number. 903 76 5874. I had to punch this number in whenever I clocked in or out, and had to repeat it whenever I wanted to take advantage of my employee discount (hence the reason I was trying to remember it, though it no longer works since it’s been 3 years since I donned a syrup and milk-splattered apron in the cafe).

The ease with which this number returned to me got me thinking of all the numbers I’ve add tied to me over the years. My Social Security Number. My elementary-through-high school ID/lunch number (40162), telephone numbers, addresses, job ID numbers, chair placement in band, birthdays, credit cards, drivers license numbers, pins for debit cards and loans, college ID numbers, copier codes, etc.

Wouldn’t it be easier to just tattoo a barcode on everyone at birth and have that be the one number associated with them? Sure, it’s like the Holocaust, but wouldn’t it save everyone time and brain cells? I get that if you just had ONE number, identities would be much easier to steal, but a barcode… the only way you can steal that is if you cut my arm off and slice off the skin… though then that turns into every dystopian novel ever made, and it’s too easy for the government to keep track of its citizens…

I’m just tired of all these numbers. One day, my brain is going to explode and I’m only going to speak in Numbers, spouting off all the random numbers stored in my brain over the past 25 years.

I’m sorry, 9195591042, I can’t go to 32830 with you, I’m expected on 0703 to be in 23221 with 8043358667 and 8043707941.

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